Last night Lexi and I did our standard routine of getting three-quarters of the way home from Tigerland and then giving up on life. The beautiful thing about ‘Merica is that thumbing for a ride here actually works!
My previous experience of trying to hitchhike in Brighton involved being abandoned by a taxi driver halfway home and standing in the middle of London Road while George fell asleep in a bus shelter and Charlotte threatened to phone her parents at 3am. A car did stop! But it was full of five guys who charmingly offered to give us a ride home if we gave them blowjobs…. I politely declined and offered 50p and a Nero’s loyalty card (this has gotten me a dress from a drunk girl previously fyi so it’s clearly a good deal). Charlotte meanwhile went into mother hen mode and started using some choice words to let them know just how quickly they should drive off.
The point is that my hitchhiking experience so far in Louisiana has been significantly more successful because twice now Lexi and I have gotten within five minutes of our hall, given up on life and thumbed for a ride. Twice now the first car to drive past has stopped and not only taken us straight home but done so with minimal rape and murder. BONUS!
Our first ride was two weeks ago when a pickup truck full of frat guys stopped for us and thought it was hilarious when I asked if the designated driver was a pledge and made a whip noise. Our second ride was last night and involved two guys who refused to believe that I wasn’t pretending to be English, Lexi giving the girl who was driving grateful pats on the back every thirty seconds and whispering thank you and Timo in the boot (confirming my theory that he was a dog in a past life). When I finally convinced them that I was, in fact, English one of them without missing a beat screams, “Wingardium leviosa!”. Americans just love that spell! Having dropped us off they turned around in the car park and as they drive by roll down the window and ride off into the night yelling “wiiiinggggaaarrrdiiummmm levvviooossaaaa!”.
Thank you America!