You gon learn today – An American Thanksgiving Story

The night before the Alabama game at the pre-game campout/bonfire, I was cornered by Tommy, Clay and Marc and asked what I was doing for Thanksgiving. My answer was vague and clearly unsatisfactory because I was quickly told that I was going to go to the country and “shoot some shit” and that is exactly what happened.

Thanksgiving is celebrated on the fourth Thursday of November and represents America in that it is a holiday dedicated to eating. No premise other than making more food than you can physically eat and then eating it. Tommy was kind enough to invite me to his house in Covington on the condition that I bring my visa to prove to his dad that I’m not an illegal alien…. So that is where I went yesterday and I put him to work taking food photos so that I didn’t look like a Japanese tourist:

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Carcass
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Pound cake and pecan pie
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Shrimp something, glorified cabbage and macaroni cheese.

Tommy then cut me a slice of every dessert on offer…

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I even got to see a little Black Friday madness at 3pm on the way to the cinema, although I didn’t take this photo until around 6 once the film (Twilight, don’t judge… not my choice) was over.

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Get ready to fight tooth and nail for a discounted TV you don’t need.

Then today everything got real country and I started sweating heavily when I was given the potential to hurt myself and others. Fortunately, Sarah had extra deodorant in her car so at the very least people didn’t mind getting close enough to tell me how wrong I was doing everything before I started maiming everyone.

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Appropriately, we all went to see Red Dawn, a film so American that as the credits rolled I heard at least four people say, “‘Merica!” and as we walked out Tommy, who was still feeling the effects of at least five beers said, “Fuck the Russians, fuck North Korea, this is why y’all learnt to shoot today!”

 Things I have learnt this weekend:

  • English tea rooms exist in South Louisiana
  • Reclining sofas are the way forward
  • Thanksgiving is like Christmas but without a month of listening to songs about it beforehand
  • I need to stop eating. The “Food I couldn’t finish” count has been renamed Megan vs. Food

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