This weekend I got taken on a Redneck fieldtrip to Bass Pro by Marc and Tommy who told me not to draw attention to my accent and told me that wearing a red, white and blue shirt was definitely a good decision. Every other person walking in was wearing some form of camouflage… I was scared.
And then we walked inside and something wonderful happened because I was transported to a different world.
I can’t even explain how incredible I found this place. 70% of the clothing was camouflage, 25% were the colours of the American flag and the rest wasn’t worth buying. Tommy asked where we had found the flag polo shirts, I told him they were past the stuffed raccoon and behind the tree. I literally don’t think there is anywhere else on earth where those are legitimate directions.
Then I found an alligator snapping turtle just chilling.
I came across the shooting range and saw a four year old boy get told “Why are you scared? You shoot guns all the time!” by his dad and then I got lost in the camouflage section.
The only way I can really describe how I felt about the whole thing is to say that this was my version of Bucee’s. The level of awe that everyone had when we discovered Bucee’s was about half of what I felt in Bass Pro. If anyone ever thinks they might need something from there then let me know because I cannot wait to go back.
Oh! And I finally invested in a Nalgene because I wanted a souvenir of my profound experience and because peer pressure has made me want one.